Its been awhile. Things have been so crazy that when I decide to post something then something else happens and I forget. The loveliness of brain fog. lol
Anyway, 2010 was full of a lot of happiness and sadness, smiles and tears, heartaches and heartbreaks but it was also a new lesson learned. During the year of 2010 I remained single and lived my life for me. I love the single life and having my space and freedom but now I'm thinking about getting back into the dating scene. Who knows at the moment. I'm still dealing with a broken heart though. I fell in love with someone in 2007 and even though it didn't work out then, I've never stopped loving him. We lost contact after my ex-fiance started problems for us in 2009 but after we split up then me and "J" (we'll just call him "J") started running into each other and then finally started talking again. It seemed like nothing had changed. Honestly I wish it never had changed but there's nothing that we can do about that. Unfortunately every time one of us would be single then the other one wouldn't be. Then we both became single and just when I thought we'd get that chance again then he told me that he was moving to Texas in less then a week. He's gone now and we have only talked twice. Its so hard knowing that he's so far away but then again he's making a better life for himself. Maybe if whenever he comes back then we can give it a shot but who knows. Maybe its destiny that we aren't together but remain friends. I think about him daily. Everything reminds me of him. I just wonder if he thinks about me...........
On another note, in 2010 my health took a turn for the worse. I had finally started to learn to live with my diagnosis of Dysautonomia and Riley Day Syndrome but then I get so much more added to that and I have to somehow learn to live with that also. I went to the doctor one time and was told that on top of everything else I had Mitral Valve Prolapse, Anxiety, and Chronic Panic Attacks. Wow I wonder why I have anxiety. I started dealing with that and that wasn't so bad because I couldn't really tell (other then the panic attacks every night) that anything else was wrong but then there was the test that showed that I have a heart arythmia. Woohoo another thing to deal with. Time went by and I was dealing with that and was thinking, okay nothing else can go on. I cant possibly have more problems then this. Well turns out I was wrong....again. I was then diagnosed with Raynauds Disease and respiratory problems. So far that's all my diagnosis. I'm scared to ask whats next. All those extra problems came in 2010 so needless to say, 2010 wasn't my favorite year.
I lost a lot of friends and family members in 2010 but I also gained a lot of them too. Facebook brought me closer to family I never knew and introduced me to other people who were dealing with the same if not more problems. It has showed me that I'm not alone in any of this and that even though some people are very mean and cant seem to handle being friends with someone who has health problems there are still so many people out there who are willing to listen and lend a shoulder to lean on or pray for you in time of need. The people on facebook have brought me through a lot of stuff in 2010 that I would have had an even harder time. To the people who might read this that thinks that true honest friendships cant be formed via the internet......you're wrong and to those who think that friends cant become family......you're very wrong. Most the people on my page that I have met are like family. Some of them are more like family then my own blood family is. I'd give anything for them no matter what it cost me. If I could take the pain away from all of them forever, even if it meant a life time of hurt and sorrow for me then I would. (To my facebook friends and family....I love you guys).
Most people make New Years resolutions to lose weight or find true love or whatever. Well that would be nice but what I want most in life (preferably 2011) is to find a cure for not only Dysautonomia but for all diseases. I also want to bring more awareness to diseases like Dysautonomia that no one (especially) doctors understand. I want to be more help to those in need and offer advice and solutions to other peoples problems. I want to help people treat people better instead of judge people and treat them badly. If that would happen then the world would be a greater place. People need to understand that no one is perfect but at least we try. I hate seeing people hurt whether physically or emotionally. I want to be able to say that I've helped people out like others have helped me.
So with all that said, I want to wish everyone a great and healthy 2011. Always remember to tell people you love them and treat everyone with the respect that you would want. God Bless Always.
Much Love and Prayers,